Friday, November 26, 2004

Warning: Prisoner DJ Ho was just released on 25/11/04.

---------------Latest Breaking News -------------------

11.30AM: Prisoner Number 01066911, alias "DJ HO" was released from the UTS Jail House after serving 5 years hard labour.

Crime: Business (Accounting)/Law degree.

Misdeameanours: Just completed practical legal training

Known Associates: Kyle, Mayank, Anvij, Alex, Thurka. This offender must be treated with caution upon release as he has many contacts in the outside world as well as still on the inside (i.e other prisoners serving their time - Jacquliene and Catherine)

Release terms: Must serve several years in a halfway house called an "accounting firm". Must work diligently between the hours of 9 to 5. May also be required to complete a Masters in Tax to show rehabilitation.

Items which he may take with him from prison: A piece of paper known as a "degree". It is entirely worthless yet is valued for some reason to a group of people known as "employers".

Chances of coming back to prison: Quite high. Although the offender expresses a willingness to integrate himself into the real world, his chances of survival are slim. It is likely that he will recommit the same offence with greater severity, possibly a Masters in Tax.

Bad habits that the offender has gained in prison: Is known to get highly stressed in July and November, a period known as " exam time". Bad eyesight as a result of too much studying. Bears the mark of habitual study offender - able to stay awake at all hours of the nite, surviving on a few hours sleep. Has also learnt how to operate complex machinery known as a "Computer". Can communicate rapidly through a secret tunnel known as "UTS email" and has learnt how to reach a vast audience using "UTS online discussion board". Become addicted to "junk food" - may have problems going cold turkey on wholesome meals.

Conclusion: THis prisoner is still dangerous to the community. Use extreme care in approaching him as he may be still armed and dangerous, as he is known to carry a backpack full of textbooks and pens. Maybe be talking jibberish knowledge gained on the inside.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The way I see it, both work and uni have their benefits. With work it is constant and tiring, but outside of work you have your own time. With uni it is about 6 months per year (or more for some) of bludging and 2 or 3 months or very very hard work and virtually no sleep. But then again, if you're a lawyer it can be 12 months of very hard work and very little sleep and no time of your own. I guess the main difference is that you pay money to go to uni, whereas you get paid to go to work.