Darwinian theory: Natural selection?

There is that classical arguement, are we a product of our environment (nuture) or are we born with the abilities that we possess today (nature)? The issue I want to discuss today is with the amount of Asians in selective high schools. I've cut and pasted the main parts of the article.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Sweeping Chinese revolution

By Linda Doherty, Education Editor
SMH
November 26, 2005

THE immigration success story continues apace, with students of Chinese background securing one third of the places in Sydney's selective academic schools.

Nine out of 10 students at James Ruse Agricultural High School - NSW's top-performing school - have a non-English-speaking background, predominantly Chinese, Vietnamese and Korean language groups.

Across the city, students from a migrant background - mainly from Asia - account for two-thirds of enrolments in selective schools, or 9451 out of 14,300 students.

The Herald has analysed the cultural mix of students in the 19 fully selective state schools using NSW Education Department data obtained under the Freedom of Information Act. More than 5000 of the 16,000 selective school students say they have a Chinese-speaking heritage and all but 100 of those students live in Sydney, where 4.9 per cent of the population speaks a Chinese language. The next largest language groups are Korean (601 students), Vietnamese (528).

The dominance of students from non-English-speaking backgrounds ranges from 92.3 per cent of enrolments at James Ruse and 83.6 per cent at Sydney Boys High.

Lynne Irving, the principal of Sydney Technical High at Bexley, said her school represented the changing demographic. "We reflect what the community looks like," she said. "Irrespective of the national background, the students all have a very high work ethic and they're very well supported by their parents."

Author Don Aitkin said the performance of many students from Asian backgrounds followed the success enjoyed by previous waves of migrant children. "It's in effect a parental sacrifice in the interests of the child," he said.
The migrant parents would typically "work their butts off" so their children could get a good education. The children were aware of this and would often forgo "present gratification" like going to the beach to study hard

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think this article and the comments made are totally correct. Migrant parents do sacrifice everything to ensure their kids got the best education. My parents were exactly the same. Secretly, I think they wanted me to be everything they couldn't be - upperclass, rich, white collar professional. I will never forget the struggles that my parents went through to put me where I am today.

I think I had no choice but to be successful, and I'm not saying that I'm good. Just that I graduated highschool, went to uni, did law and got a job at big company. And to them, that is success because they never went through that whole process. My mum still tells me she arrived in this country with $500 in her pocket and nothing but a hope for a better life. Asian parents push their kids so hard because they simply want the best for us.

One thing that this article misses, is that Asians aren't necessarily smarter. Being bright is not the reason that they get into selective school. It's a tough call for me to make as an Asian. On the one hand, I feel that Asians are smart. But why is that? - Is it nature or nurture? I think most of us Asians got into selective school because:

1) we were bright
2) we had coaching
3) our parents pushed us so hard and sacrificed a lot to ensure we got in

You combine those 3 factors and you've going to take the place of for say (and I'm generalisng here) an Australian person who is naturally bright but might not have had factor 2 and 3 - there is the exception: see Tim and Ashby. That is why 33% of students are Asian.

To many Asian parents selective high school was the be all or end all. If they couldn't get in, they had to go to a public high school and they couldn't settle for that. That would mean failure. My parents couldn't afford a really good private high school, but I'm sure they would have done sacrificed everything financally to make sure I got in to one.

So what is it Nature or Nuture for Asians in selective high schools? I say both, although a lot of "nuturing/pushing/sacrificing" from my parents.

Interesting side note

It never became more apparent to me how important it was to go to a good high school when two years ago I had interviews for internships. I had several interviews and one was @ Proctor & Gamble. I walk in, and the manager looks @ my resume and goes "Oh, you went to Sydney Tech?.....You know Ms Berios was a b*tch". Firstly, I was stunned, then laughed and nodded my head in agreement. What was I supposed to do? I did get a job with them, and probably did help that he was a former Tech.

Next up was an interview @ Big 4 Accounting firm. Again, Partner looks at my resume and goes "I'm an old boy from tech. I organised our 50th reunion with your new principal......Ms Irvine". Didn't get a job with them, but still, that old schoolboy connection was strong.

During my internship, I went to a client meeting. I'm sitting at their board room, minding my own business while the client chats away with my boss. Suddenly, the client wants to talk to me and asks me what High School I went too. I mumble "Sydney Tech. Its in Bexley." He gives me this scrunched up face look and smiles and repeats that all too farmiliar line "Your're looking at an Old Boy. Class of 1960........ Is Mr Booth still there?".

I'm out like Ashby from Australia,

DJ Ho.

p.s. Did you spot the Ms Irvine, Sydney Tech comment? Represent!

Sons of Enron.

The inspiration for this post was the fact that a friend of mine lost a lot of money investing money in Sons of Gwalia, a gold mining company. The loss occured more than a year ago but they recieved a form asking to put their names down for a debtor's list - even if there is any money left over very little will go to any shareholders.

My facts are a bit hazy but it happened when Gwalia gambled on gold prices, and took out a gold derivative hedge to lock in a certain price. Prices moved against them and the banks made a margin call, telling them to hand over the gold NOW.

Problem was, Gwalia didn't have enough gold reserves to meet the request. They couldn't go out and buy gold either because the prices had skyrocketed. Gwalia couldn't come up with the $700million in gold and it went kaput. Investors lost out because they failed to disclose this information relating to the hedge.

Obviously, this person is not happy about it but there was little that they could do. The accounts were audited by Ernst & Young, prior financials were strong, and gold prices have never been higher. They were one of the world's biggest producers of gold. IT WAS A BLUE CHIP COMPANY.

But Gwalia never disclosed the true risks to the market of their hedges. They f'd up basically - their judgement was wrong in calculating it.

Why I am angry

We as members of the public hand over money to these big organisations hoping that they will make us money. It might produce a profit or a loss. That's a risk that I as an investor am prepared to take. But at the very minimum, they need to tell us of the risks. They need to disclose that information so we can make fully informed decisions. And if they do disclose it, the essential information is buried in some 60 page annual report, which even the most sophsticated investor has trouble understanding.

We are at the mercy of these organisations - in a very vulnerable position. They know much more than we do, yet they are unwilling to tell us what's going on, but are SO willing to accept our hard earned money.

A lot of people lost money on Gwalia and there was no way that they could see it coming. We have so many laws on what companies should disclose but do they really force companies to tell us what really goes on? Accounting standards are so complex that ways can be found around them. And derivatives, a new kind of financial product weren't regulated by existing laws and accounting standards.

I watched the Enron movie last week, and it annoys me that corporate greed has gone so far. Enron, was the 7th LARGEST corporation in the US before it collapsed. People had blind faith - the share price kept rising, the company kept announcing new markets and services that it was launching. No one really questioned the company until it was too late.

They used a lot dodgy practices and financial engineering to make the company look better than it was. But it was all smoke and mirrors.

You can't do a thing

Whether you like it or not, we are all exposed to this problem. We all make money. And to make that money grow, you need to make it work. If you invest in shares, you can do as much research as you like to "value" the company. But if they aren't providing you sufficient information, you can never make an informed decision to compare prices, risks and future returns. You're on slippery ground from the get go. You have no objective basis for comparison.

But I hear you say "hey I don't invest in the stock market", BUT you do playa. Compulsory superannuation forces you to put money somewhere and it usually ends up in shares, or managed funds, which in turn invest in property or shares. You can't do a thing because when you hand that money over it is up to the discretion of that fund manager to do whatever they want with it. You've lost control of your own money. Sure you might say I want to invest in international equities at steady growth rate. But that don't mean squat.

Best choice? Put your money in a shoebox and lock it away. It'll still be there in a year's time.

Fighting for shareholder's rights,

DJ Ho.

He's so grown up now......awwwww

I think I spend like 50 hours a week on the computer. You don't need to be a scientist to work out that's not very good on your eyes. Yesterday, finished at 8pm and got a cab ride home. And tonite, couldn't be stuffed staying any later, grabbed the laptop and worked on it on the train ride home. Cracked open a can of coke and knuckled down and submitted my part of the project at 9.30pm. I'm officially a corporate slave. Welcome to the real world, DJ Ho.

More importantly......my lil bro has finished the HSC! He's gone off to alternative skoolies - the central coast. I can't believe how fast this little kid has grown up. I dropped him off at the train station, stood back and thought, woah things done changed.

I gave him my massive backpacker backpack that I took overseas. It looked a lil big on him, but he was strong enough to carry it. The plan was to go with him to Central station to make sure he got the right train but i just plain stopped. If he's going all the way to the Central Coast, he's gotta be able to make it to Central Station by himself and get on the right train.

I also forced him to carry the heavy backpack from our house to the car, and from the car to the train station. He's got to be able to take care of himself - to survive on his own, otherwise he'll never grow up into a man.

I used to be able to beat him up (ok - that's not something that I'm proud of), out run him in a foot race (maybe I'm just unfit these days), have bigger muscles than him (all that breakdancing and walking around on his hands have sure made him into a lil beast).

I miss having our daily basketball one on ones since our basketball ring got taken down. Every day I use to take him to school. Our ring was only like 6 feet off the ground and I used to take it to the rack and dunk on him all the time. Then one day, something happened. He exploded to the ring and straight dunked on me! That made me realise two things. Baby boy is on the come up and I had to posterize him a few times to show him who was the man.

Always have your back bro (well until you break it carrying my stuff!)

I got 99 problems but freedom is 1

A tale of two people. Different cities. Injustice and Justice.

I don't know what annoys me more. The fact that Michelle Leslie walked free or that Van Tuong Nguyen kid will die in 12 days. Wait, scratch that. Michelle deserved to walk and Van deserves to live. Sure, Michelle pretended she was a Muslim, tried to sell her story to the media. But she shouldn't go to jail over two ecstasy tablets. She did what she had to do to get free - she played the system that tried to bring her down. I can't blame her for trying to take advantage from the situation either. But dang, at least lay low for a while.

Now Nguyen shouldn't get off scott free but he should face the consequences of his actions. To me drugs are the scourge of our society and people should be punished accordingly. But death ain't one of them. He was a mere drug courier but the difference is in the commerical quantity. Its the drug dealer king pins that should face death for getting organized and peddling that stuff. He made a mistake and facing 20 years incarceration would surely make him realise what he did was wrong. protect society, rehabilitae him and all that other junk. Just because he doens't model Antsy Pants underwear, have the money to bankroll a legal team that can outwit the legal system AND the media. That's some injustice right there.

But that's my opinon according to the society, the laws and the legal training that I was given in Australia. It's different in some Asian countries. There's zero tolerance for drugs. You can't even chew gum in Singapore or even spit on the ground. But its one of the safest cities in the world. And supposedly one of the cleanest. I couldn't live in a society like that. Not one that executes people for being drug couriers or would jail people for having two eckies on them.

Damn, I don't know what its like to have freedom. I think its only when its taken away from you like Michelle or Van that you really appreciate what you have. Being able to hang out with friends, feel the sun beat down on you, the freedom to travel overseas, or simply going to the shops to buy a pair of stilhettos.

New Jack City Tour

Two of my all-time favourite rnb groups are coming to Sydney. Blackstreet and New Edition!!!! Joined by SWV, Bell Biv Devoe and Johnny Gill. Growing up in high school, they were the bomb. Then Blackstreet kinda dropped off but their first two were off the heezy. New Edition's "Home Again" was awesome, "Can you stand the rain" is one the greatest tracks ever.

The tickets are $89 (seated) or if you're feeling rich, $120 on the floor. It's @ the Sydney Entertainement Centre, Dec 11th. If you would like to come, leave a comment/ring/email/whatever, just let me know as I would like to buy tix soon.
For more info, click here and here.

No Diggity. No doubt.

DJ Ho.

Hectism

This week has gone like a blur.

I've been absolutely flat out at work the last couple of days. Been pumping out reports constantly for one of the biggest funds managers in this country. My second finger actually hurts from all the mouse clicking I've done! RSI I tell ya!



Had my first project debrief - went really well. It happens after every major project, you have a feedback session. And I was told I being transitioned onto this client and it will be my client !!!!!Woohoo.....my first client!

Also, been sitting at a client site with another team member for two days with a bunch of random contractors from other accounting/consulting firms. I'm not doing the most exciting thing, but I'm learning to work independently, in a team and dealing with the client directly.

Yesterday was fully hectic. Had so many things to do, and was getting mentally challenged with what I thought was a simple question for a investment bank. It involved a mixture of international tax laws, understanding consolidation accounting (a very yucky uni subject), accounting standards. A huge headache.


The GZA - Genius

My highlight of the week? Waking up on two consecutive mornings at 5am in the morning.....as if! No, I woke up at 5.30am because there was a breakfast on at 7.30am and I had the chance to hear a CEO speak. It was optional to go the breakfast, but I really wanted to hear a CEO speak - it's not everyday that you get to hear one.

When i think of CEO's, i think of very big companies. This was different - Dr Robert Dane was CEO of Solar Wind, a small start up company. The business focuses on making boats that utilise solar energy and wind power.

What differentiates his idea is that his solar panels can move. Normally you think of solar panels as flat - attached to the roof of a house or car. His idea was to make them move up and down, twist sideways, to obtain the maximum sun light possible. See the pic below - basically they can move like wings on a butterfly. It's a mad, breakthrough idea based on how insects adjust their wings to gain the maximum sunlight for energy. The boats also have traditional backup fuel generators.

His vision is to create " green ferries for blue highways". I love it, because they are energy efficient vechicles and can be used in 3rd world countries where they don't have access to good road infrastructure and the cost of fuel seems to be rising constantly.

Robert is someone that didn't give up on his dream. He was a medical doctor and loved sailing. He started his company 6 years ago and still hasn't made a profit yet. But it's very promising. The Americans and German venture capitalists have started investing in the company to the tune of $40mills. Bob Hawke (former PM) is the Chairman of the company. He's won tenders to build 10,000 boats that don't require human crews for the US government to man their coast line to stop drug smugglers, etc...Military companies have also been knocking on his door to build solar sea planes.

He talked about a lot of things, the conception to product design, getting funding, the setbacks he had to deal with, and realising the reality of his dream. There were many times that he could have given up, but he stayed focused. How many of us would still have the persistence to run a company that hasn't turned a profit in 6 years?

Breakthrough

What was really interesting was when another presenter got up and spoke about new ideas. The best breakthrough ideas come at intersections - when someone has deep technical expertise in one area and are self taught in a totally different area. In this case, a doctor had a passion for sailing - and looked at it from a different perspective - why don't we use solar panels that move like insect wings? When you look at some of the greatest inventors or even business people, its the intersection between their original training and entering into a new field that creates explosions of ideas. It's then that people start challening the status quo and question why can't we do it this way?

It the same reason that nearly all the greatest mathematical ideas come from people under the age of 30. The untrained mind can be a powerful thing because you have no idea of history, of the past and its failures. See "A beautiful Mind" for more detail.

I'll going to go a lil corporate on your ass so pay attention. Why is my company or other companies working so hard to come up with new ideas. Why invest so much money in R&D? Because it is new ideas that generate growth. If you can come up with something that your competitiors don't, you have what's called a competitive advantage - leading to getting into the market first, or being able to differentiate from your customers, building up a reputation as being innovative, making more sales, generating more profits.

That's why there's such a huge race to take a product or idea to the market first. American start up tech companies focus 90% of their time on marketing their idea and then going back to their tech guys and saying "we need to make this!". Wheras Aussie companies spend 90% of the time making the thing.

Companies grow through several ways. One is organically - hiring more people, generating more sales from existing customers, or through new ideas. The second method is by acquistions - by combining or in very sexy IB talk "mergers and acquisitions", "takeovers", etc. The third method is by financial injection - by listing on the stock exchange, issuing more shares to obtain more capital, getting loans to play with the money. One of the best ways to grow and increase your earnings, is through new ideas.

Because that is a growth advantage that cannot be taken away. It is lasting, well until your competitors catchup, but by then it could be too late. You may have already dominated the market, and or even moved on.

That why the saying goes "your only as good as your last idea".

Thanks for reading my very long post.

I'm out like Urugay from the world cup (oohhh did I just say that?!),

DJ Ho.

So proud to be an Aussie!

The picture says it all. We are on our way to the World Cup in Germany!!!! We did it tough - beating U-R-Gay (sorry Urugay - can't spell, who cares) on penalties. So nerve wracking. We were up 1-0 but because they beat us last time 1-0, the game went into 30mins over time. No one scored so it was decided on penalty shootout. Mark Schwarzer take a bow.

The first penalty taken by U-R-Gay was stopped by Schwarz. You could tell the shooter was going to stuff it up because he paused twice on his run up and changed his mind where he was going to kick it. The pressure was too much for him. But then Mark Viduka almost stuffed it as well. I was thinking he's taking it, it's in the bag for sure. He took a lil slow run up and MISSED the goal completely!!!!!!!

BTW i agree with TOny Vidmar's comments - the other side needs to get some humble pie, especially Recoba (leading striker for U-R-Gay) who said that we didn't consider us a chance and they had a divine right to be there. Well, in the nicest possible way screw you. Recoba's actually a very good player, so I dont understand why they took him off in the last 15 minutes. THey needed him badly, well because he's a great attacking player.

Now that we are in the world cup after 32 years, what are we actually going to do? I think we'll make some noise but honestly we are very slim chance of going all the way - at least we'll be in the FIFA World Cup computer game!

The Sport of Kings (well after basketball!).

Peace.

p.s. Did you know that Ashby (US), Tim (Canada, UK), Nam (Japan), Jaarden (Europe) are going overseas for a very loooong time? But Chris Lau (HK) is coming back for a week?!

The Asian Takeover

A very interesting article which either will represent you (asians) or affect you in some way. Whether you like it or not, its happening. Bright, young, hardworking Asians are coming out of uni and taking a lot of the good professional jobs out there. It won't be white collar anymore - it's yellow collar -DJ Ho

The changing face of our professional elite

By Michael Duffy
November 12, 2005
Page 1 of 2

THE big change no one talks about is the growing success of people from Asian backgrounds in the professions. If present rates continue, they could form a majority of Australian professionals within a generation or two. Such an outcome would be unusual: perhaps the first time in history a nation's elite has invited another group to come in and replace it.

Asians are the first significant group of immigrants to this country to come from, or at least aspire urgently to enter, the middle class. They are far more successful in education than other Australians. For instance, in the 2004 HSC, about 350 of the top 1000 students had Asian
surnames. As people of Asian background comprise about 7 per cent of the population, this means they did five times better as a group than other Australians. This success has been going on for more than a decade: in 1993, for example, the figure was 330.

I don't have figures for all pupils (there are almost no publicly available figures on any aspect of this subject) but there's a lot of anecdotal evidence to suggest this level of achievement is reflected in all HSC results and continues into university courses. An article in
People and Place by Siew-ean Khoo and Bob Birrell looked at how many males aged 25 to 34 in 1996 had tertiary qualifications. For those with parents born in Australia it was 17.7 per cent, for China 48.8 per cent, and for India 31.3 per cent.

At university, many courses have well over 7 per cent Asian students. For example, one informed academic told me four years ago that about 50 per cent of entry level dentistry students and a quarter of medical students were from Asian backgrounds. The general pattern is that the numbers are highest in numerate subjects such as IT and accounting, and lower in courses such as law. Whatever the figures might be at the moment, they will increase, as more than 50 per cent of immigrants have come from Asia for many years now.

Many university students are full-fee foreign students, of whom there are more than 200,000. Between 30 and 40 per cent get visas on graduation. The Government has hardly increased the number of domestic university places since 1996, so these graduates are literally taking jobs that would once have gone to Australian citizens.

In 1998 foreign full-fee students comprised 34 per cent of all degree completions in IT and 32 per cent in the business/administration/economics field. Last year, 5267 visas were granted to foreign IT graduates at a time when 30 per cent of domestic graduates were having trouble finding work. Madness.

Recent report for CPA Australia said that in 2003-04, 47 per cent of all commencing students in accountancy came from overseas, mainly Asia. It also noted the estimate of IDP Australia (the universities-owned firm that sells Australian education abroad) that by 2025 there will be
almost as many overseas students studying at Australian universities as there are local students today.

Does it matter if, say by 2030, people of Asian background make up 10 per cent of the general population but several times that of those in elite jobs? Opinions would vary if people were asked, but they're not. The nation is making this big change without any public discussion.

What is certain, though, is that many young Australians have been excluded from university over the past decade, due to the failure to increase domestic university places in line with the growing population.

Perhaps the reason there has been no public discussion of these changes (apart from fear of being called racist) is that those who contribute most to public debate have not yet been seriously affected by them.

There are, after all, far less than 7 per cent Asian faces in Parliament, the media, and the humanities and social science faculties of our universities. And those of us in these circles who are parents are (relatively) smart and wealthy enough to help our kids get into university, with a bit of luck.

It is interesting that the Prime Minister, once a critic of the rate of Asian immigration, is now presiding over what amounts to the demographic reconstruction of this country's elite, at the expense of the children of those once known as Howard's battlers. Strange behaviour from a self-declared conservative.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guys & gals, i'm interested in your comments - post'em!

I can't sleep baby - blogging!

It's 4am in the morning and I've pretty tired but still up and about on the internet, reading other people's blogs, watching video's on uselessjunk, and of course watching highlights on NBA TV.

I make it a habit to voyeur into other people's lives by reading their blogs. I don't know what it is that makes it interesting to me - perhaps its being able to read their raw emotions, unedited opinons, being able to relate to what they do.

I once describe the blogging experience to someone at work and compared it to the Great Wall of China. Having a blog is like having your own little poster on the Great Wall. People are free to stop and read or just ignore it. Maybe that's why I like blogging - the freedom to write whatever I want to the world and the liberty to read whatever I want.

After you read blogs for a while, you'll start to notice this kind of sub culture of writers (bloggers) - people that leave comments or links to other blogs. I go through a kinda routine making sure I read my favourite blogs.

My favourtie ones are: (in no particular order)

- Humanity Critic: Winner of 4 Black Weblog awards. The funniest blog I've come across as well as the most insightful one. Respect.

- Obi: I came across this one whilst searching for a hiphop blog. Love it because he keeps it real - sharing thoughts from London. Plus music downloads are awesome.

- Ivan: I've never come across a blog so full of anger, intensity and criticism. He'll pick a topic that pisses him off and just destroy it.

- Bosco: The metro who writes poems and about music. It was I that mentioned to Bosco to start blogging again!

- Emily: Poledancing, pilates, food loving chic. I like reading this one because she has a simple writing style & enjoys life. Met her b4 @ Bethany formal (loooong time ago).

- Tash: Ivan mark 2. This girl just keeps it raw, and when frustrated you'll feel it.

- Hoi: Loved reading your blog but hasn't been the same as you've been busy. Your blog was the inspiration to start my own. Wished you'd write longer, engaging pieces.

And there you have it folks. The blogs on my must read list. As I said b4, feel free to peek a look into their lives, leave a comment or just walk past.

That's the beauty of blogging. Enjoy.

DJ HO.

p.s. Links of the week - Top 10 NBA plays. Skinner's block on Marion in preseason - NASTY! Vince Carter over Zo - Nastier! And for those soccer fans out there - amazing skills here.

Top 5 Mc's Dead or Alive

Wow, saw this on Obi's website, and this is really cool. Jin Tha Emcee has produced this song with a video clip called Top 5 Mc's Dead or Alive. You HAVE to watch it here.

The idea is that he takes the question to the streets and gets people to write their top 5 Mc's on a ballot card and totals them. In the end, he writes his top 5, but he doesn't show you?! Lyrically the song is awesome, and its so witty - cop this sample:

10th grade I became a hiphop addict ass backwards copped/
It Was Written and then Illmatic/
some say Ready To Die was Biggie’s best/
but then again theres always Life After Death/
way before Dame and Jay changed views and split/
on the real 22 2’s was my shit/
just when you thought PAC only brought drama/
he had joints like Keep Ya Head Up and Dear Mama/
Pun did it his way just like Carlito/ ...........
Puffy is good but Wu Tang is for the children/
Scarface ya mind playin tricks just illusions/
Pharoah Monch out to Organize the confusion/
tryin to figure out this fly chick I discovered/
at the same time Common said He Used to Love Her.........

You can find the rest of it here.

So who's your top 5 Mc's dead or alive?



Here's mine:
5. Guru
4. Jay-Z
3. Tupac
2. Rakim
1. Biggie

If I could put 6, I'd put in Nas or Big Pun or KRS-1 or Common .......the list goes on. IT'S TOUGH!!!!!!! It's hard trying to decide who's in your top 5, dead or alive.

patiently waiting

Have you ever waited on something that's really important but it can't happen fast enough?

Is out of my hands and all I can do is wait.

Should get back to my assignment - a 3000 word assignment on "income recognition for emerging profit accounting" - sounds interesting doesn't it?
it's due in 8 days and i haven't even started. It's quite hard having to study and work at the same time. Come home at 8pm or so, and just don't have the ability to switch on and do study, but you force yourself cause its the only way.

Patiently waiting 50 cent style.