Sometimes I feel
Like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

- Under the Bridge by Red Hot Chilli Peppers

This is one of my favourite songs. It has a great feel to it, and until I read Humanity Critic's take on it, I never realised that it was about loneliness. Right now, it kinda encapsulates how I feel at the moment.

Relax, I'm good. No need to call me or email me.

But its occured to me that I don't hang around my friends anymore. In a way I am a loner. Where the hell have they gone? I still keep in contact and hang out with my ex, but obviously that is a combustible and complex situation. One of my best friends is in Canada, the other I haven't seen since March, the guys in the group I used to hang out with I email occassionally and the same goes with my uni friends.

What have I resorted to lately? Hanging out with work people. This has its limits since you see them every day and though their great people, you just don't want to see them more than you have to.

Admittely, a large part of it is due to my own doing. I just haven't made the effort to meet up with people or even organise anything. Working all day, studying furiously at the end of each semester, playing basketball/gym, there doesn't seem to be much time to see my friends anymore.

There were times like when I would hit up 5 or 6 bars/nightclubs on a Friday night and end up at a salsa nightclub at 2 in the morning. And then I'd go out again the next night. Or I'd be constantly going to concerts with Tim and co. I'm still going but with different people now. There'd be the Thursday nights where I'd watch the boys play basketball, and just be a regular bystander. The days when I would meet up with Dawen after work and go shopping or just walk around the city.

Now? It seems like I've got nothing to do or can't be stuffed. You can find me playing basketball at my old high school on a Sunday afternoon. No one seems to be playing at Blakehurst anymore. What happened to the competition with the Croatians, Yousef, Willie and co. When we would battle weekly in those 3 on 3 or 4 on 4 games.

I guess its my choice. I could easily pick up the phone and call my friends. Drop them an email and ask how they are going. These days, I'm just pretty quiet, boring and laidback.

It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

Peace,

DJ Ho.