Only in Bankstown

Last Saturday, Marie and I went to Bankstown Square. We are locals, so we are no strangers to the area. However, last Saturday had a few interesting incidents I hadn't seen before.

No Man's Land

Normally, I find carparking at any shopping centre a bitch. Especially on Saturday daytime. There always more cars than carspaces. So we're doing the usual thing, and doing laps of the car park in the hopes of finding that elusive white unicorn - a car space!

Marie's driving and slows down to turn the corner. Our car stops cause we are stuck in traffic. In the corner of my eye, I see two cars stopped in the middle of the car park - they are both facing opposite directions. The two drivers have come out of the car and appear to be exchanging pleasantries. I can't hear what they are saying, but it looks a lil animated.

There's a young blond Aussie guy of normal size arguing. On the other side is a Middle Eastern guy, who is stocky with broad shoulders and looks built. He has sun glasses on (an important fact!). I'm not sure what they are arguing about, but I believe they have either crashed cars or its over a car parking space.

Curious by nature, we continue to watch.

Out of nowhere, the Aussie guy shoves the Middle Eastern gentleman with a full two handed push. Suprisingly he doesn't react immediately. He calmly turns around, takes off his sunglasses and throws them through the rear window of his car. Then I know its on! I mean who wants to damage expensive sunglasses? He has that look in his face like he's about to rip a kebab in half.

The Middle Eastern guy walks up to the Aussie dude, and returns the favour with a two handed shove. Winds up the right hand and gives him the biggest bitch slap I have ever seen. But wait, there's more!

Just like E-Honda in Streetfighter 2, he unleashes the 1000 hand slap. Well its really like 5 or 6 punches in succession.


The Aussie responds and starts throwing out haymakers. The Middle Eastern equivalent of E-Honda continually forces the Aussie back with a flurry of punches until he is up against the open car door. I can only see the fight ending one way, as E-Honda has too much aggression & size and the Aussie guy is giving up too much in weight.

So I undid my seatbelt and opened the car door and was determined to step out and stop the fight before the Aussie guy gets knocked unconscious. Marie says to me "it's not your fight". Then simultaneously, E-Honda's wife steps out the car looking concerned. The Aussie guy has a mate who also steps out. For some reason, a moment of clarity strikes both parties. E-Honda backs away and the Aussie guy's mate grabs the Aussie guy and they walk away. Both cars speed off.

Then I calmly directed Marie to take the disputed car space.

Clearly, a win-win situation for all.


All purpose Hijab



The second interesting thing occured in the big park next door to Bankstown Square. Marie and I are walking around and stop at a nearby cafe. I see this girl walk out of a building, wearing a Hijab. If your not familiar with it, its like a cloth that Muslim women put around their head. This is normal to see anywhere especially in Bankstown.

This girl was talking on her mobile phone on a flip phone. Something like this:


What really caught my eye was the fact that she wasn't using her hands. Then it occurred to me that there was something unusual about this scenario. The top of the phone was actually shoved into the Hijab! Tucked in so she didn't have to use her hands. The bottom part was next to her mouth. Ladies and gentleman, it appears that we have discovered the latest invention in Bankstown:

The Hands Free Hijab.

Coming to a store near you! Marie was laughing her head off so I told her to shutup. When we turned the corner, we just burst out laughing.

And that concludes my Saturday at Bankstown Square. Only in Bankstown folks.

I'm out like fighting E-Honda,

DJ Ho.