GEORGE: Ah you have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If she is allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza as you know him, Ceases to Exist! You see, right now, I have Relationship George, but there is also Independent George. That's the George you know, the George you grew up with -- Movie George, Coffee shop George, Liar George, Bawdy George.JERRY: I, I love that George.
GEORGE: Me Too! And he's Dying Jerry! If Relationship George walks through this door, he will Kill Independent George! A George, divided against itself, Cannot Stand!
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Breaking up with someone is hard. But moving on is the hardest part. There's a part of me that wants to move on. And there's a part of me that wants to stay in contact with my ex. We were together for more than 5 years - since first semester in 2001 to February 10 2006.
The breakup of the Berlin Wall. This is how a break up feels like.
I posted up the Seinfeld comment because it reflects how I feel: A DJ divided between two worlds. It's actually in a different context about how George wants to keep his friends and his independece, and his relationship with Susan totally separate. And never the two shall meet.
My problem is several fold: Do I get back together with her or do I break free? If we sat down and tried to work things out, maybe we could. But would things really be different? Which leads to my next question: If i choose not to get back together, should we still stay in contact? And that is the dilemna I am in. Can I ever break the shackles of the old relationship so I can enter into a new one?
I was talking to this girl two nights ago, and she said that she couldn't move on with her life until she cut off all contact with her ex. But the thing is, we used to talk every day. Eat lunch in the city together. Go out like twice a week. I'm very good friends with her close friends. We were so dependent on each other during those years. We still talk to each other all the time. Whenever we have a problem, we still run to each other. I still carry her photo in my wallet. I still accidentally dial her number when I'm calling home.
On the issue of cutting all contact, I feel that option is just cruel. We were really close, how could I live like that? Who am I going to turn to if I have problems? Maybe I have to learn to be independent again. Cause I felt like I went into battle with her by my side everytime. It was like me and her against the world. And that's why its hard for me to be single.
Post break up, they say (not me - Dr Phil and Richard Mercer wannabe's), you need one month for every year you've broken up before you start dating again. I'd consider asking a girl out, but my friend PJ was like "Your on the rebound DJ. Your just looking for a girl". That might be the case, so females stay away (not that I attract them in the first place). I think for me since I've been in a relationship for so long, I feel like I need someone in my life to some extent. And its a horrible feeling. For those that are single, you've learnt to be independent. I've lost that to a certain degree and I need to get it back that independent side.
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(Elaine enters)
GEORGE: You're Killing Independent George! You know that, don't you?
5 comments:
A few things to point out:
1. March 2001 - Feb 2006 is almost 5 years not 6! Didn't you do 3 unit maths?
2. Dilemma should not be spelt 'Dilemna (I thought u were suppose to be good at english!)
3. I totally understand what you mean. In fact, I actually know your ex and she tells me she in fact may be feeling the same thing.
Hope everything works between you two. Just give it time.
Tim R, of course I know her. We go way back. In fact, I was with her today.
If you want any dirt, I am negotiable...kidding...
depends on both parties really. if one person can't move on if there's constant contact, then the other shuld respect that. BTW does any1 believe there's such a thing as a 'mutual breakup'?? haha.
aint nothing wrong with a rebound relationship - just acts as a catalyst. i reckon its harder to get into a relationship cos ppl fall into 'friend zones'.
as for cutting all contact.. itll just be for a while so that both can move on. its not like ur gona b enemies for the rest of ur life, just hang around other ppl.
and btw, is this 'crisis' of urs the reason why u keep regulating?
STOP REGULATING!!!!
In my opinion, how can you move on, by doing nothing.
You can keep be friends and try not to get back together, but really is that moving on.
To move on is moving towards a new goal(not neccessarily another girl). When a person focuses on another goal, their previous target will be truly in the past. That person will be moving towards a new goal and will have moved on from where they are currently at.
If you're "rebound" girl is your new girl that you are moving towards, then there is no problem. If the "reboubnd" girl is a replacement, then you have not moved on at all.
DJ Ho, I think you were going in the right direction for asking another girl out. Props.
Dizzy - you think your funny don't you?
Tim - she knows her all too well
Terry - there is such thing as a mutual breakup cause i've just been thru one! Regulating? It's for your own protection hahaha
Jerm - i like your thoughts and will keep that goal stuff in mind. i think we will always be pretty good friends but yeah i've got to start hanging around other people or i'll never move on.
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